What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do you think of Andrew Tate?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What can I say to a scammer who thinks he loves me, but I don't want to be scammed?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why have feminists not demanded that females be required to register with the selective service? Are female lives more precious than male lives?

What! how could you do that?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

True - how I loved my mum!